Boxes

I feel like SD´s too straight and square. All the buildings have sharp curves and the streets run parallel and perpendicular, and every locale, building, house, trailer, business, and government office has an exact number assigned to it on a street with a sign that matches every other street sign in color, shape, and height and it's all conveniently located by satellite on google maps.  I'm always lost here.  How can something be clearly marked if it all looks the same?  The tables are all in rows, the cubicles are all lined up, can I get a curve please? I always know where things are going, there´s a line to direct me, I´m free to go wherever I want as long as I follow the straight lines, as long as I stay on that paved road. I can only go off it if I have an off-road vehicle and I can´t get back on it until I have my highway legal vehicle. And in order to get off road, I must pay a fee and stay within the off road area. Everything is predictable. BORing.   I feel like it´s crushing my soul, like the fire inside me is nearly extinguished from being stuck inside a box. The big box stores, the big box fast food chains. There's hardly a neighborhood without a McDonalds and a Walmart and a Home Depot where everything you need is fabricated to keep up your perfectly boxed up life inside your box shaped home while you peer out eagerly at the perfectly lined streets on your boxed shaped block with rectangle signs all white with black block lettering on every corner through your square window waiting for the box shaped truck to drive up and deliver... a box. How can I find my way and grow and evolve if everywhere I go, it's all the same?  I need to break away.


I wanna go to a place where theater shows are often free and rarely cost more than $10, I want to find a hill that I can't make it up on my bicycle and I’m on the brink of losing control as a fly down the other side.  I wanna go somewhere where the dividing lines are blurred so I don't have to «PICK A LANE».  I want to go to a place where the only way you can get there is to ask directions.  Where instead of standard green freeway signs with white lettering, you know where to turn because there's a 4 story white house with plant leaves dripping off every balcony. 
I want to end up on roads that sometimes abruptly end and force me to take a detour without any signs, where there are street performers that don't have a permit, I wanna take a bus that has frequent and unpredictable stops, and if I get off, I can get on another a couple minutes later. I don´t want to go straight, I want to go up and down and around and around. I wanna walk across an intersection diagonally and bump into others in the middle.  I wanna go somewhere, just cause I feel like it and run into something else on the way that I like better. I wanna go to a place that's in transition, be focused on something from within instead of being streamlined by practical forces without... without love, without spontaneity, without a creative curve ball that throws me into the middle of an area where my curiosity is challenged and I can fulfill my love and passion and gain the strength and speed to blaze into the wide-open strike zone of life. A place where there is so much youth that they are bursting out of their sewn britches and jumping into a universe of possibilities for a better world. In short, I wanna go to Tijuana.