Bicycle Insecurity

The other day... I decided to have lunch on the way to work at a cafe downtown at the 12th and Imperial trolley station.  After squeezing out the trolley through the crowd, my bicycle on my shoulder, I set it down on the platform, hopped on and whizzed the 200 ft around the building to the cafe. I dropped my bike to lean against the cement hump next to the entrance and opened the big glass door almost all in one motion.
"I'll have the combo with the vegetarian delight and the fries.  Can you use this plate instead of the paper plate and this cup instead of the foam cup?"  I always carry those in my backpack, you know, reuse, reduce, recyle.  I went to sit down, my whole day was a scurry.  'Where am I going next, oh yeah, my class, what am I teaching today? Ok.  chill.  frist things first... I really need to return that email to the border coalition... oh, and I have to return that call to Fran, but I can do that after I finish preparing my class, but that call's really important, and what about that email I was supposed to send this morning... and... shit.. first things first?  everything's first!...'  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.  'I gotta go to the bathroom.' Out the glass doors, bike still there, through the next set of glass doors two feet away.  As I heard "please take out all your change, cell phone, and any metal in your pockets in the tray and lay it on the conveyer belt," I was thinking, 'my bike will be ok, it'll only be out of site for a couple minutes while I take a wiz.'   The next security guard lady watching the screen was laughing so hard at the security guard with the wand in case you beep's joke, which I didn't hear, that her eyes were closed and a small tear fell down her cheek.  She stopped breathing for a second and then handed me someone else's tray.  "Oh, I'm sorry that's his!" and she started laughing all over again.  "No problem" I said and laughed a little too.  As I peed I thought "...what are these security guards supposedly protecting here?  what is this building?"  A fleeting thought that reminded me of how border patrol falsely protects us.  That's often in the back of my head.  I came out of the bathroom and they had stopped laughing.  As I rounded out the door I again saw the cement hump...  "What the fuck!?  Oh shit!... "  I knew right away someone had taken it, that there was no other possible explanation.  I ran around the corner to the trolley stop frantically looking in all directions down all the possible roads.  There was no one on them riding my bicycle.  There was a security guard in the cafe sitting right next to where I parked my bicycle...he hadn't seen anything and really didn't know how to help.  I sat back down. ' I can't believe it.'  I tried to tell myself it wasn't a big deal.  Well, it wasn't that big of a deal, but quite a pain to get around without a bike at least til my next pay check. I don't have too many things in my budget I can sacrifice, but I'll have to find something.  Shit, I just bought this bicycle. I guess people are right, maybe I should lock it every where I go and not be so trusting... maybe 40's too old to be riding a bicycle everywhere... relax, you're not far from work you can walk it and ride public trans and get another bike in a week or so.  Yeah, I'll get a better one, this'll be a good thing... Someone else that needs a bike, has one now.'  This was probably all true, but I was still in the bummed out/borderline denial stage.  I really didn't want to loose that bicycle..  I went back out and asked the trolley cops if they'd seen anything.  They could only suggest that I ask the security officers at the gov't offices, where I went to the bathroom, since it's their pervue.
"I left my bicycle out here while I was in the bathroom and when I came out it was gone.  Did you guys see anything?"
"I'm just doing my job here looking at the screen.  I didn't see anything." said the giggle lady security guard  in an inappropriately defensive tone.  I looked at the other two security officers who just kind of shrugged.
By this time my lunch was ready so I went back to getting over loosing my bicylce while I enjoyed my sandwich.  About half way through and still bummed, I heard a knock on the glass wall that separated the cafe' and the gov't building.  It was the security officer with the magic wand that made the defensive lady giggle signaling me to meet him a few feet away outside the glass doors by the lonely cement hump.
"We've recoverd your bicylce.  When your finished eating, come on in and let me know and we'll get it for you."
"Wow! That's great!"  I quickly finished my sandwhich and almost followed him back in.  When I got there, he looked at me like he didn't know why I was there, "I'm here to get my bicylce back that you recovered."  Still excited that I didn't loose it.
He got on the walkie-talkie, "...aaah Frankie come over."  Then to me, "He's coming, he'll get it for you."  In the few seconds I was waiting, I started to wonder how it is that they recoverd my bicyle and how it is that they knew it was mine.  I never even described it to them.  "So how did you guys recover it?".. before the funny guy could answer, another security guard came in, Frankie I assume, dressed in a tie and jacket... the funny guy said to him, "He want's to know how you recovered his bicycle... how you got it from that guy that took it"
"Well, actually" I said "I mostly just want my bicylce back, but I AM kind of curious."
"I don't know if we have your bicylce, I'm not sure where it would be..." said fancy dressed Frankie, kind of flustered.  I just looked at him with a confused look in my eyes.
"I have a room full of bicyles, not sure if we'll find yours."
"Well, he said you recovered it." I said pointing to the funny guy holding the wand in vane.   I was really confused now.  The funny guy called Fancy Frankie dumb and Fancy Frankie turned around and left without saying anything.
"Just ignore him.  Some peopel are dense."
Just then an elderly gentlemen, tall and slender with grey hair walked up from somewhere behind the funny guy and said "come with me" and waived me out the door.  "Your bike's in here" as we arrived at the outdoor room that holds the trash bins.  He opened the metal door and my loan bike was leaned up against a blue bin.  "Why is it in here?"
"The thing is you can't park where you parked.  You need to park at the bicycle rack."
"So you guys took my bicyle and hid it to send a message about using the bike rack??"
"Yes" he said as he turned around and started walking back at a fast pace.  I was walking back too and knew the best thing to do would be to just go to work, but I was pissed and couldn't help saying something.  I peddled up beside the short-haired Gandolf,  "Is there a manager or someone I could talk to?"
"I'm a supervisor."
"That's pretty shitty what you guys did.  This is my only form of transportation."
"We'll look into it, you're welcome to use the bike rack any time."
I just took off on my bicylce.  As I peddled out the anger and breathed in the clear air, a thought occured to me, did I just discover an undercover bicycle theft ring?